


Heaven Isn't Heaven Without You

by HipsterIzzy



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It of Sorts, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, san junipero au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-03-31 08:20:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13971075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HipsterIzzy/pseuds/HipsterIzzy
Summary: With the advancement of technology, the mystery of what happens after death is solved (in a manner of sorts).  It's a relief to most, but Timothy Lawrence can only see the negative side:  an eternity with memories he wishes he could forget.  But will a chance encounter change his mind?





	1. The First Glimpse

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, here's the San Junipero AU that nobody asked for! Explicit rating is for later chapters. The first one is pretty tame. :3

When the technology had first come out, Tim had been intrigued. TCKR promised an eternity in paradise via San Junipero, a virtual seaside town with plenty to keep the residents entertained. The decades may change, but the residents remained eternally youthful, able to live out experience after experience. Those close to death or trapped in their bodies were offered trial periods once a week. Visitors could only become permanent residents if they signed the contract before death. In a way, it made death less scary. It took away the mystery of what came next, gave people a glimpse at one iteration of Heaven.

As time had marched on, Tim had occasionally considered this option. He wasn’t working for Handsome Jack anymore, but that didn’t mean he’d be immortal. TCKR’s website showcased several testimonials from trial users who’d made the decision to become permanent residents. Each one always seemed sure of their choice. Tim had his qualms, though. Under Jack’s employ, he’d done some bad things. Things he didn’t want to remember, yet could never forget. And there was someone he’d left behind when he left Hyperion, someone he’d considered his soul mate. Living without that person was hard enough. What would it be like to spend eternity with all the memories he wanted to erase?

When the time came for his trial sessions, Tim had made up his mind. He was old now, and open to the idea of one last hurrah before passing on. But ultimately, death without a TCKR contract offered him the possibility of oblivion. Once his number was up, he was going to close his eyes and finally be at peace.

The process itself was fairly painless. Timothy didn’t understand the long explanation the young nurse gave him—didn’t care to, really—but in practice, the process was over within minutes. A small node was attached to his temple, a wireless link was established, and suddenly he was in a familiar bedroom. And yet…it wasn’t familiar. Parts of it, he remembered from his childhood. Others, from his time on Concordia. The rest was comprised of bits from Helios. No elements were drawn from his life beyond that point, which was fine by Tim. The rest wasn’t particularly pleasant, and he was grateful that any element presented only brought up happy memories.

There was even a tattered picture taped to the mirror, the edges singed and a smudge in the bottom right corner, but the face beaming proudly from it was unmistakable…

And speaking of faces staring back at him from the mirror, wow, had he not seen that one in a while! He rushed to the mirror, fingers flying over his face in glee. His skin was pale again, and freckles were dotted all across his nose and cheeks. A pair of wire-rim glasses sat on the bridge of his nose. And like a cherry on top, his bright red curls were back in their rightful place. He was _himself_ again, and he couldn’t be more excited. Being Jack had had its perks, but he was certain that nothing could top Pre-Surgery Tim.

After a good, long look over his face— _his_ face!—Tim moved on to the closet. He was currently still dressed in the comfortable pajamas from the rest home his body was lying in on Eden-5. He tried not to think about how he’d been able to afford that care…

Unlike his closet on Eden-5, the closet here was stuffed with every article of clothing Tim could ever want. When he came across the skinny jeans and yellow sweater, he was rather shocked, but they did hold fond memories. Tim moved on from them, though, delighted by the chance to truly choose his own outfit. He ended up in khakis, a lavender button-down, and a floral-print jacket. To complete his look, he donned the black low-top sneakers near the door.

Feeling fresh and hopeful, Tim headed out of his bedroom, through and out of the house it existed in, and down the short sidewalk out front. He glanced around, taking in the surrounding neighborhood. Each house was different. Some were tall and thin, others short and squat. The one at the end seemed to be the biggest, three stories, sprawling out on either side to take up space. For a moment, he wondered if Jack had somehow managed to get in early to this digitized afterlife, but he knew it had been years after Jack’s death before TCKR came onto the scene.

As he turned to walk the other way, a friendly-looking couple pulled up in a topless jeep.

“Need a ride, neighbor?” called the woman.

Tim nodded and hurried over. “Thanks! I don’t really know my way around,” he explained as he climbed into the back.

“My name’s Lanie, and this is my husband, Atlas. We live in the little one-story next to you. Are you new to San Junipero?”

Though the pair looked nothing like his old acquaintances, the names reminded Tim of Janie and Athena. He was silent a moment, collecting himself and trying not to feel sad over not having kept in touch with the pair. “I’m, uh…I’m just passing through, really. My name’s J—Tim. I’m Tim,” he finally spoke with a sheepish smile.

“Oh, the trial run,” Lanie nodded. “We’re headed into the center of town. Is that okay with you?”

“Uh…I guess? I don’t really know what there is to do here,” Tim answered.

Atlas began driving again, and finally spoke up. “There’s a couple of bars, a movie theater, restaurants…Really, anything you could want to do, it’s there in the heart of San Junipero.”

The rest of the drive was quite pleasant. Lanie and Atlas filled Tim in on their lives before, how they’d met on Tantalus through a work seminar, kept in touch despite working for opposing companies, but ultimately settled for less by going their separate ways. It was by chance they’d met each other here, in San Junipero, and were able to reconnect and live out the lives they missed out on before.

Tim didn’t offer up much, other than that he’d worked for Hyperion before its big fall, and that now he was in a rest home on Eden-5. When they parted ways, he thanked them, and the pair expressed their hope to see him again next week.

Once he was left alone, Tim stopped on the sidewalk to take in his surroundings once again. Everything seemed to be neon and chrome. Inviting signs beckoned to him, enticing him to come drink, or come eat. He didn’t really feel too hungry, but the little burger joint looked too enticing to pass up. So he stepped inside and ordered a single patty with the works. He recognized a couple of souls from his post-Hyperion days, but they clearly didn’t recognize Tim. They hadn’t been close friends, but it made Tim feel rather lonely. Everyone around him seemed to be engaged in conversation or enjoying time with at least one other person.

With a sigh, he cleared his tray and wandered back outside. The sun had set now, but the air was still warm, a nice breeze ruffling his curls. Not knowing what else to do, he headed into the nearest bar. It was a divey-type place, a twanging guitar wailing out over the speakers. It still seemed rather crowded.

As Tim pushed his way to the bar to place his order, he recognized yet another face. She was painted up exactly how he remembered, crimson lips in sharp contrast to the white facepaint. Pretty as ever. His knees got weak at the sight of her.

“Hey, sugar. What’ll you have?” she crooned, leaning across the bar in a manner that accentuated her bosom.

Tim’s mouth went dry, despite the pang of hurt at her not recognizing him. “H-Hey, Moxxi. Can I just get a rum and coke? With the lime wedge, please.”

Moxxi’s eyes narrowed, head tilting in confusion. “Do I know you?” she asked, ignoring his drink request.

Tim nodded, a smile breaking out across his face. “We met on Concordia, but I was wearing your ex’s face.” He chuckled at her sour expression, then continued. “My name’s Tim. O-or Timothy, whichever you prefer. I was Jack’s body double.”

“The nervous one? Oh, I do remember you! You look so much cuter without that jackass’s face plastered over your own~” she cooed. “You said a rum and coke with a lime wedge? Coming right up.” She quickly set about mixing the drink. “It sure is nice to meet a familiar soul around here. It gets rather lonely seeing everyone else happily paired off. That’s why I opted to work here. Runnin’ the bar makes me feel at home.”

Tim nodded as he accepted the drink. “You’re a permanent resident, then?” he asked.

She nodded.

“I’m…just passing through. I wanted to see what it was all about, but I don’t think I’ll stay.”

“Aww, well that’s too bad. It’d be nice to have a friend here. Forever’s a long time for a girl to stay so lonely~ But hey, you enjoy your trial, sugar. Don’t let me waste your night. Stop in again sometime, though!”

With that, Moxxi turned her attention to the next customer, and Tim turned away to take in the bar. It was similar to the Up Over on Concordia, though the music was pleasantly different. DJs Boom and Rang had spun catchy beats, but Tim much preferred the dirty rock blasting over the crowd right now.

He easily slipped through the crowd, careful not to spill his drink. He tried to mingle, as he made his way around, talking to people who seemed friendly enough. Unfortunately, Tim had never been good at mingling or making friends.

Eventually, he settled in to a corner booth with a good view of the room. People-watching was a fine enough activity. And while it did make him feel lonely, it was nice to see others so happy, enjoying their afterlives and/or trial sessions. He was on his third drink now, and debating a fourth, when he glanced at his watch. Only five minutes left in this session. Sighing wistfully, Tim took another glance across the room.

And that’s when he saw _him_. 

There, across the dance floor, casually leaning against the jukebox, was the man from the tattered picture in his room. He was younger, for sure, the gray hair he remembered replaced with gleaming black. And there were no robotic parts. No machine, all man. And jeeze, what a man…Dressed in denim and leather, smoking a cigarette. Tim couldn’t believe his eyes. The last he’d heard, Wilhelm had died on Pandora.

As he finally made up his mind to go demand answers, the big man turned and locked eyes with Tim, causing his heart to skip a beat. All those old feelings came rushing right back. A well-practiced smirk was flung his way as Wilhelm began to stride over.

“Hey, there, pretty boy~” he heard Wilhelm call distantly.

Tim blinked, and in the next second, he was waking up in his bed at the rest home.


	2. Photographs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timothy's second trial session doesn't quite go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ed Sheeran's "Photograph" makes good mood music, if you're interested.

The week following his first trial session in San Junipero seemed to crawl by for Tim. He refused to participate in group activities, hardly ate, and even tried to refuse his medication once (it didn’t end well because the orderlies were a lot stronger than he thought). He spent as much of his time as he could sulking in his room. Wilhelm had been there, in the bar Moxxi was running, and it had felt like a rocket straight through his heart seeing the man again. The only way he could find solace was to work on what he knew would be his final novel.

It was a tried-and-true way for him to escape reality.

He sat for hours on end at his computer, typing away, researching, and throwing himself into the manuscript with abandon. It would be his magnum opus, and wasn’t that just so fitting for his life? He’d had to put his writing aside in his younger years, risking his life to pay for that creative writing degree. His first novel, _Bear In Mind_ , had been finished and released long after he’d escaped Hyperion. From there, the series had just…grown. He’d created his own little universe, populated by a race of sentient bears, and the series followed an outcast character who was forced into taking up an unconventional militaristic lifestyle in order to survive. And Tim might never admit it, but the series drew inspiration from his own adventures, especially when it came to the love interest.

When his fingers hurt too much to type and his eyes burned from staring at the screen for so long, Tim resigned himself to rehearsing what he’d say to Wilhelm on his next trial session. He had several options, ranging from elated to pissed, but they all leaned toward monologue territory. It was hard to know what his ex would say in response. Still, he obsessed over it. It was important that he not fall right back into who he was when they’d met…

But when the weekend rolled around and the little node was attached to his temple, Tim’s courage went right out the window. He quickly pulled on the outfit he’d worn as Jack, then headed straight to the bar where Moxxi worked. He didn’t want to waste any time. He needed to talk to Wilhelm before his own thoughts drove him crazy.

Or…maybe he was already crazy. Wilhelm hadn’t wanted him back then. The money was too good, Jack had his resources, and no matter how many times the cyborg had whispered sweet nothings to him in the privacy of a shared room, Tim knew deep down that he had only been a hobby.

Moxxi wasn’t behind the bar this time. It was a man, thin and older. Tim ordered his rum and coke with a lime twist, then made his way toward the jukebox. He had yet to spot Wilhelm, but maybe the older man would remember what happened last time (even if it was a brief encounter). In San Junipero, he was a redhaired, freckle-faced nerd again. Maybe Wilhelm wouldn’t recognize him right away this time? He was hoping this would at least give him some advantage in the conversation.

No such luck.

A large hand clamped down on his shoulder and a gravelly voice growled into his ear, “You’re a sight for sore eyes~”

All those old feelings came rushing back. He was on Helios again, stout arms wrapped around his waist, a grin so wide his cheeks hurt, and the scent of sex and sweat thick in the air. The butterflies in his stomach, which he’d thought long dead, picked up into a whirlwind.

“Wil…” he breathed softly as he turned to look at the mercenary. Up close, he could see that the scars were gone, the rustvirus was gone, and Wilhelm was…definitely younger. Close to his own age, it seemed. He knew he was staring, but he couldn’t help it. He hadn’t been this close to Wilhelm in ages, and it was hard enough to resist the urge to bury into the other man’s chest.

“Yeah, yeah, drink it in, pretty boy. A hundred percent, pure me~” Wil cooed. It was the cocky smirk that brought Tim back to the moment.

He pulled back, balled up his fist, and punched Wilhelm square on the jaw. It hurt, sure, but it just felt so _good_. He’d do it again if he wasn’t currently wincing in pain from a poorly-thrown punch. And Wilhelm had reeled back from the force…Tim felt really good about that.

“Okay,” the bigger man huffed. “Yeah, I deserved that.” There was an odd look on his face, almost as if he were proud, with just a touch of sadness. And now others were staring. Wilhelm glanced around, then took Timothy by the elbow to lead him out. “Let’s go talk somewhere private.”

Tim allowed himself to be tugged along, but he didn’t feel like waiting until they were alone to say what he needed to say. “You’re a real asshole, you know that? We really had something. I loved you, Wil, I really loved you. I gave you pieces of myself that even Jack didn’t get! And we made so many plans…You led me along and made me believe we could have a happy life together! But _nooooo_ , Jack’s blood money was just too good for you!” He wasn’t paying attention to where Wilhelm was leading him, focused solely on his little angry monologue. He didn’t realize how close they were to a vehicle, or that they’d stopped. “I was just a toy to you!”

Suddenly, he was pressed against the cold metal of a jeep, Wilhelm’s big arms caging him in, his face inches away. “I deserved that punch. And yeah, I was an asshole. But don’t you _dare_ say I don’t love you.”

The pair stared at each other, Tim still seething and Wilhelm’s eyes burning with a mixture of offense and desire. The fact that Wil had used the present tense wasn’t lost on Tim. But before Tim could respond, Wilhelm was pushing away and motioning for Tim to get in. He walked around to the passenger side in something of a daze, opened the door, and slid in. Wilhelm climbed into the driver’s seat and started the jeep. They drove to Wil’s small house in silence.

The city gave way to desert, which then bled into ocean. Tim watched it from his window, quietly taking it all in. They eventually pulled up to a small wooden house. He couldn’t help but be touched by it. They’d talked about it before, somewhere in Concordia, about having a small beachfront house, where Wil could tinker with his robots and Tim could write…They’d even have a couple of cats. His vision was starting to get blurry as Wilhelm cut the engine. He blinked, and something wet fell onto his cheek. A pit was opening up in his stomach.

The door opened, and a thumb swiped across his cheek. “You really wanna waste your trial time like that?”

Tim looked away, still clinging to the anger and sense of betrayal he’d felt for so many years. Yeah, he was touched that Wilhelm’s afterlife was being spent in their dream house, but was that really enough to forgive his ex? If Wilhelm hadn’t been an emotionally constipated, money-hungry asshole, they could’ve had this in reality. He crossed his arms over his chest and huffed.

“Look, I’m not gonna tell you how to spend your trial time, but I’ve been here for…a while now. Nobody ever comes to visit. Not that I really want ‘em to, but…I’ve, y’know, had a lot of time to think…I’d really like it if you could just come in and hear me out.” It was a lot for Wilhelm to say in one go. Tim glanced over to see the pleading look on the other man’s face. “Especially if you’re really thinkin’ about becoming a permanent resident. I…I wanna do it right this time. Please, Timmy?”

It was hard to resist Wilhelm, especially with the way he’d said Tim’s name. Before, on Concordia, the first time he’d ever said it was the first time they’d had sex. Tim hadn’t told him what it was before. They’d been making out, Tim straddling Wil’s lap, his jacket and Hyperion sweater long discarded in a pile with Wil’s shirt. Large hands were dipping down beneath his waistband, and Tim had pulled away abruptly to try and keep some semblance of control. Before he could say anything, Wilhelm had grinned wolfishly and whispered, “I want you, Timmy.” It had really thrown Tim for a loop, partially because Wilhelm had made the effort to find out what it was, and partially because his face didn’t immediately explode like Jack had said it would. His only option was to answer with an enthusiastic kiss.

Now, as he sat in the passenger’s seat of Wil’s jeep, his only answer was a small nod.

Wilhelm offered a hand to help him, and Tim accepted it, looking to the ground as he let the larger man help him out and lead him to the house. The front porch faced the ocean. As they ascended the small set of steps, Tim noted that there were two wooden rocking chairs with a small table between them. On the end further from the chairs, a swing hung from a sturdy chain. Tim didn’t have much time to look everything over before Wil was tugging him inside, but he knew the chairs were meant for mornings and the swing was meant for evenings. It’s what they’d planned.

“D’you want anything?” he asked as he let go of Tim’s hand. Tim only shook his head, staying put in the doorway as Wilhelm headed to the kitchen. The living room was small and modestly furnished. The couch seemed oddly worn, as if someone had been sleeping on it for quite some time. A woven wool blanket was folded and laid atop a pillow on one end. 

“You can sit, if you wanna,” Wil called from the kitchen.

Tim walked stiffly to the couch, then sat down, placing his hands on his knees. He didn’t want to pry into Wilhelm’s life—afterlife?—so boldly, but the few frames hanging on the walls and taking up space on the end table were intriguing. He couldn’t help but look. And in every frame, he saw himself, as he had been. There were a couple of their whole team—Jack, himself, Nisha, Athena, Aurelia, Wilhelm, and even the CL4P-TP unit. Others were just candid shots of himself, all happy or peaceful. The one big one hanging on the wall across from him was of himself and Wilhelm. They were nose to nose, Tim’s cheeks dusted pink, big grins on both their faces. He remembered that one. Nisha had snapped it when they were busy being drunk and wrapped up in each other at the Up Over bar. Wil had kissed him in public, calling him pretty boy and teasing him about being a lightweight drinker. Sure, they’d been tucked away in a dark corner, but Nisha had seen them, and she’d made fun of them endlessly. But she’d also given Wilhelm her word that it’d stay their secret as she’d pressed the photo into his hands.

“It wasn’t a big one in reality, but…it was my favorite,” Wilhelm quietly spoke as he took a seat beside Tim. “Doesn’t do the real thing justice~”

Timothy turned, tucking one leg underneath himself to stay comfortable as he looked over Wilhelm. “Wil, look…I’m…I’m sorry about what I said earlier…” He sighed, hating how easy he found it to forgive the older man after all this time.

“Don’t worry about it,” Wilhelm waved him off. “Hindsight’s twenty-twenty, and I feel like I know that better’n anyone else.” There was a terribly sad note to the mercenary’s voice, and Tim had to fight hard not to reach up and pull him into a kiss. Instead, he averted his eyes to the floor in an effort to keep a clear head about this.

Wilhelm obviously missed him.

He was silent for a long moment, but he allowed himself to reach for Wilhelm’s hand and intertwine their fingers, just like he’d done so many years ago. “Look, what’s done is done. I don’t know how much time this session has left, and I don’t know how many others I’ll get afterwards. My real body’s old. I don’t wanna waste my trial like this…” Wilhelm’s thumb was stroking over his own, and maybe that’s what gave him the courage to continue voicing his thoughts.

“Just tell me this: If you had the chance to go back to the day I left, would you come with me?”

“ _Yes_.”

The answer was instant, almost desperate. Tim looked up to see Wilhelm watching him with a familiar fire in his eyes. And that’s what diminished the last of his resolve. He surged forward, his lips crashing into Wil’s. Wil easily caught him, wrapping his arms tightly around Tim’s waist as the smaller man adjusted himself comfortably in Wilhelm’s lap. And the kiss…It was everything Tim had missed, and more. There were stars bursting all around him. The butterflies in his stomach were back to that whirlwind thing. He felt like he was floating in a perfect dream.

When they finally broke apart, Tim flashed a dopey grin. “I know how I wanna spend this session.”

“Yeah?” Wilhelm prodded. “How’s that, pretty boy?”

“Right here in your arms.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments make for great encouragement. I'll try not to wait so long on writing the next chapter. :3

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, leave a comment, perhaps? :3


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